January 2011
im not going to shower until next year.
December 2010
13580) I'm super scared of overeating... Not...
I wonder how many more times I’m going to be able to start over. How many more times am I going to give it just, “one more shot”. How many more times am I going to say it’s the last time. Tomorrow is a new day, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to be any easier to start then. There can’t be unlimited amounts of time that I could keep trying something....
It’s weird, you know? The way my eyes still tear up when you’re mentioned in conversations, and how whenever I begin to talk about you, my mind goes blank . My words get smushed together and the way my stomach does backflips. My whole body feels like it could collapse in an instant at the thought of you
“Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.”
– Kurt Vonnegut (via slychedelic)
It’s all about a new mind set, now. Now is the time to start. Who cares if it takes longer, the same amount of time is still going to pass. I’m not giving up until I am where I want to be, I fall, but I’m good at getting back up.
Hour one of new ways.
And then it hit me.
tashasblog--deactivated20110107 asked: In reply to your last post: Just don't. Please.
I thought you wanted to get better? In fact, I know full well that you do!
.. <3
I thought you wanted to get better? In fact, I know full well that you do!
.. <3
tashasblog--deactivated20110107 asked: In reply to your last post: Just don't. Please.
I thought you wanted to get better? In fact, I know full well that you do!
.. <3
I thought you wanted to get better? In fact, I know full well that you do!
.. <3
On top of that, I feel like even me not binging isn’t doing it for me anymore. I feel like I’m gaining weight again, I can see it in my legs. Starting next week, I’m ditching everyone and going to the gym every fucking day. kdjfhaksldhfkasd. GOOD MORNING!
Am I the only person who doesn’t have the slightest clue as to where their eating disorder came from? I am clueless. I remember when it started, and then that’s about it. I don’t remember 80% of this year, it’s as if it never happened, and it’s truly a scary thing. I have no memorys of last year, half of them were spent blacked out in random bathroom stalls, or in my...
Fuck being bloated.
Tomorrow starts my normal eating routine. I feel like shit. gkldfgjkflhjk
My diet consists of, coffee, fat-free 1/2&1/2, tons of apples, carrots, apples, cauliflower, apples, broccoli and apples.
OH, and lots of apples.
It’s kind of like you only remember the little things that make you happy and then once they’re gone you don’t really know what’s left.
Formspring. →
I don’t know how to help myself, but at least I know what I want.
I’m seeing a new side of things, it’s time for something brand new. Day one of loving myself.
I’m second hand smoking two packs a day. And all...
What I need right now is her help, which she’s not doing. Her telling me that it only comes once a year, and to not ruin everyone’s time isn’t making anything better. I’m so anxious and I can’t calm myself down. I’ve asked her for help, I’ve told her I wanted help, she’s done nothing but push it aside and just fight the fact that I’m sick. I...