Nineteen|New York
✂ Paul Mitchell Future Professional ✂

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Anonymous: what are some guys you wished you fucked in high school?

lol noooo

Anonymous: I don't know how to get better. I literally have nobody left my family has given up on me. I feel hopeless and alone and like the only way out is to kill myself. I don't have the strength to fight this ed and I am just a waste of space. I'm sorry I just need to vent xx

Venting fine. And what I learned, and I might get shit for saying this but you don’t need support. I was taught in treatment that family or friend support was such a huge part. Even though I had family support I never accepted or took it. The only person you have to believe in is yourself. Look for support in yourself. I know how it feels to feel like you’re stuck in a hole and never going to get out but I swear, it’s possible. I’ve been PAST rock bottom multiple times. Killing myself always is an option, but it’s not a solution. I kept in my mind that tomorrow could be better and there’s a chance for me. I stopped looking in mirrors and I showered in the dark because that’s what it took. Honestly I know that all the times people have told me when I was feeling so low that things would get better I called bullshit and thought, yeah, maybe for you but not me. But it’s true, it gets better if you work your ass off in recovery. I smile everyday because this disorder has NOTHING on me anymore. I am so in control and the days I feel like going back, I remember how happy I am now. I am so fucking happy compared to how I was because ED doesn’t control me. It takes a lot of time and a lot of falling but you have to get up. It takes a while for your mind to catch up with you even after you start doing better so remember that, too. I will swear on anything and promise that life without ED is worth so much more.



1 week ago

I got some bad ideas in my head.

(Source: mrgolightly, via sullivu)

I got some bad ideas in my head.

".الجيات أحسن من الرايحات
What is coming is better than what is gone.
—Arabic Proverb  (via forebidden)

(Source: vvitchfinder, via zerogoukki)

Anonymous: Something about you is mesmerizing and it's very admirable how genuine you are. You're a special one, Lucy.

Thank you!