Professional Fuck Up
And extremely pretty.
[listens to a fall out boy song] yes this is my favorite [listens to another fall out boy song] this is also my favorite [listens to every fall out boy song] yes, my favorite
Vampire Weekend l I Stand Corrected
Photo - Cesar Lepe
For project, #HAIRANDI
By Sal Salcedo
Simethicone. Mylanta. Things that have no meanings to others but bring me back the worst time in my life.
I’ve always wanted to be a writer, I’ve always had something in me that felt that I’ve had a story to tell. But I cannot always form the words that flow through my head. I get ideas and ideas to write, but never when I can write— when I’m at a light and I jot down notes, abbreviations that I can’t get back to.
I think that’s why I like reading autobiographies so much. I like reading about hardships because it brings me closer to mine.
It feels like I’ve lived another when I was struggling with my eating disorder and was going through treatment. I try to push that time away, it’s so hard to remember and I try to suppress it as much as I can. But than again, I’m not even sure if that’s intentional or a defense mechanism. I was so damaged, hurt, scared, and not nearly half the person I am today and it’s never spoken of. I sometimes wish it was— not necessarily in a good or bad way, just reminded of because it was a huge chunk of me. As much as I hate to say my eating disorder was my identity, it was me. I completely separated myself from that, but still after two years I do miss it. I never see myself going back and I’m one of the few lucky ones that got out alive and I’m so thankful because I worked so hard. There’s just still that missing identity I never got back. I work on myself everyday. Who I am, who I want to be, but it took everything away from me and years later I’m still trying to figure out who the fuck I am. It’s draining. I get stuck in cycles of sadness and I just hope that one day it’ll be gone. I love myself and all the things I’ve accomplished, I can proudly say that, but man, I’d love for the sadness to end.